Couples Therapy
Is Your Relationship In Need Of Help?
Are you and your partner in a traditional or open relationship and having trouble harmonizing the unique nature of your partnership? Has a breakdown in communication or a lack of connection slowly driven a wedge between you? Is the evolution of your relationship making it difficult to balance roles, responsibilities, or the share of power?
Perhaps, one of you feels that the other is changing or becoming more independent, which is triggering jealousy or a fear of abandonment. Or it could be that you or your partner are transitioning to a different gender or sexual orientation, and you want to know what that means for the partnership.
Relationships can be complicated for many reasons, especially when introducing a new dynamic. For instance, the sudden responsibility of caring for a newborn, children from a previous marriage, or an ailing loved one can create overwhelming stress. Similarly, opening up a relationship, transitioning into a new sexual identity, or experiencing changes in intimacy can generate many questions that may be difficult to answer alone. And if one of you is suffering from depression, anxiety, or trauma, you may be unintentionally bringing old behavior patterns or ingrained fears into your current relationship.
Any of these issues can make you question your self-worth and even the integrity or your relationship. Fortunately, with a little work and commitment, you can heal your intimate connection and feel accepted and empowered to mediate future challenges on your own.
All Couples Could Benefit From Therapy
Relationship problems are a universal reality for almost every couple. Unfortunately, our culture has traditionally embraced the false notion that once you find love, it should be flawless—a union that requires no work. There is a perception that if you argue or run into compatibility issues, it means that something is broken.
But that is simply not the case.
It’s perfectly natural for couples to encounter arguments and friction in their lives together. In fact, conflict can be beneficial to a healthy relationship if it provides an opportunity for growth and empowerment. However, most of us weren’t born with the ability to articulate our needs or resolve conflict peacefully. Instead, we often quarrel, withdraw, or lash out in fear or insecurity because we don’t know how else to respond to conflict.
For some individuals, a fear of abandonment or issues of inadequacy are a result of unhealthy attachments made in childhood that have been carried into current relationships. In other cases, a change in the nature of a relationship can cause disruption. For example, you may have just transitioned into a polyamorous relationship or had your partner reveal that they are homosexual. Or it could be that you are in a non-traditional relationship and the toxic atmosphere of homophobia is presenting obstacles that you don’t know how to overcome alone.
I know how difficult it can be to navigate the challenges of having two individuals coexist peacefully and productively. However, with my help, you can find greater clarity and understanding of how your relationship works and what you each need to find balance and happiness together.
Couples Counseling Is A Powerful Tool For Healing
Working with a couples therapist gives you a place to express the thoughts and feelings for which you may never have had an outlet. Therapy provides you with a neutral witness who can help you reveal the hidden goodness in your union and draw on the healing power of that awareness. Working as a team, you and your partner can gain valuable relationship skills and learn how to moderate your emotions and actions so that you can each be the best partner possible.
The benefit of therapy is that it gives you a compassionate and nonjudgmental place in which to explore your lives, your connection to each other, and what it means to feel secure and happy. In our sessions, we will look at the challenges you are both facing as well as the goals and expectations you have for the relationship. Moreover, I will help you identify problematic areas of your partnership while capitalizing on your inherent strengths as a couple to improve those areas. My goal is to help you realize the true narrative behind your relationship so that you can see and love your partner for who they really are.
Many of the couples I see are dealing with a wide range of relationship issues. Therefore, I strive to meet every client where they are and collaborate to find a healing strategy that speaks to them. In some cases, I may use Imago and dialogue therapy to help trigger the mirror neurons in the brain, which are responsible for building and feeling empathy. Using these techniques, I can teach you how to slow down your automated emotional responses and learn how to actively listen to your partner without pushing back.
I will also introduce you to the language of sensation and somatic therapy, which can help you recognize and moderate what occurs in your body during times of distress. Your partner can learn to identify those bodily cues and give you space to recover and become grounded again. I may use the Gottman Method and attachment-based therapy strategies to help you identify and nurture your own individuality while strengthening your partner’s confidence in the relationship itself.
Your relationship is an intimate part of yourself that needs to be nourished and protected. With my help, you can learn how to repair areas of your relationship that need work while learning how to support each other through any transition you may encounter. To that end, you can fall back in love, open your relationship, and set healthy relationship boundaries with greater connection and trust. As your bond heals and grows, you can cultivate loving acceptance of your partner and greater kindness toward yourself.
We are considering couples counseling but still have a few concerns…
I am afraid that therapy means we are doomed.
If you are reaching out for help it doesn’t mean that your partnership is over. It means that you realize there is still a spark in your relationship and that you are willing to work to reignite it. Therapy can help you capitalize on the hope and resiliency that brought you to this page so you can rediscover the person you fell in love with. And even if by some stretch of the imagination you decide to go separate ways, you will both still have an array of skills and strategies that can help you in future relationships.
We are just going through a rough patch, nothing that requires couples therapy. Right?
The truth is, every couple, no matter how successful or happy, can use a little help now and then. And if you are seeing the early signs of a problem, now is the best time to address it—before there is a crisis. Working with your partner as a team in couples counseling can provide you both with a level of awareness and understanding that can help you resolve futures issues peacefully.
We are a little worried about the cost.
There is a saying that you can’t put a price on peace, and that is especially true for relationships. The benefits of healing your relationship and being happier and freer to be yourself are truly priceless and pale in comparison to the cost of therapy. With a small investment of your time and money, you can enjoy greater peace of mind as you navigate and harmonize with the differences in your partnership.
I Can Help You Restore And Protect Your Relationship
If you and your partner are having trouble connecting, communicating, or navigating the unique nature of your relationship, I can help you find clarity and peace. Please call 323 539 7717 to see how my approach to relationship therapy can help you.